I’ve joked with my friends that I need to become a hermit if I’m going to reach my weight loss goals… but there is actually a nugget of truth in that for me.  I don’t need to hole up in a shack out in the woods, but I do need to find balance when it comes to socializing and going out with friends. This is hard for me for a few reasons… 1) Saying no is hard for me to do, and if I get pushback I tend to cave.  2) I suffer from major FOMO… I don’t want to miss out on any of the fun! 3) Socializing usually happens around eating and drinking – and I love to do both of those things. So what’s a fun-loving girl to do?

I have one particular friend group that goes out often… brunches, pub crawls, girls nights out… all the fun things!  But I found myself getting really anxious anytime I saw an email or text from that group. After some reflection – I realized that while this group of ladies is fun – all these outings don’t support my weight loss goals.  So I wrote an email that basically said that – and said I would be stepping away from the group for a bit to focus on my weight loss. I also asked them to remove me from future emails so I don’t have to worry about any FOMO.  I almost didn’t send the email though… it’s scary to put yourself out there like that. But I did send the email – and I was pleasantly surprised when they respected my request.

It was such a great feeling!  To state what I needed without over-explaining out of guilt… I never do that!  When my coach, Emily, asked me why – I said it was because it felt selfish. Which is interesting – because I wouldn’t think it was selfish if someone else did it.  Why do I give more grace to others than I do myself? And why do I confuse self-care with selfishness? I actually don’t have the answers for either of those questions… but what I do know is that these things can be major roadblocks in reaching your goals.  I think this explains a lot about all of my other failed attempts at weight loss (and probably other life goals too).

So where do I go from here?  Well… I’m going to continue to practice speaking up for myself and my needs – it’s worked out pretty well for me so far.  I’m also going to focus on this amazing journey I’m on instead of all the things I’m missing. No more FOMO! And I want to afford myself the kindness I do for my friends.  Nothing too major ?

Take care!


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Dr. Angela Tran